Something Just Like This
by Cinty
Summary: Post season 1 fic - After a disastrous double date with Dawson and Jen, Pacey and Joey spend a night getting to know each other.
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes I get really bad writers block and other stories pop in my head and don't allow me to make room for what I'm trying to write. Finally decided to just put this one down on paper. Assume everything in season 1 through the finale happened - but this is a couple of weeks after. Please review if you'd like me to keep posting!

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"Well, remind me never to do that again," Joey muttered as Pacey put his car in park.

"Which part? The double date with Dawson and Jen part? Or the entire extra large soda all over your lap?" Pacey teased, a playful grin on his face.

She shot him a death stare as she dramatically undid her seatbelt.

"Or perhaps the hang out with Pacey part?" he offered, his smile wavering slightly.

"Sadly Pacey… that was the best part of my night. Thanks for the ride. Guess it's time to make a run for it?" she asked, watching the rain pounding on his windshield.

"Wait Potter…" he said hesitantly as her hand reached out to the door handle. "Do you mind if I park my car here for the night?"

Her mouth opened in slight surprise. "Are you still avoiding your house? Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's not a big deal. I spent most of the week at Dawsons, but he suggested I not come home tonight," Pacey cringed with the last words he spoke, watching carefully for her reaction.

"You realize Bessie and Bodie are still gone? I actually wouldn't mind the company," Joey offered hopefully.

"Again?" he asked in surprise. "Or wait still? Why didn't you say anything? It must be like two weeks now isn't it? "

She shook her head, not in confirmation or denial. "Something like that."

"What are you doing for food?" he asked in concern.

"They left me money. I've been riding my bike to the grocery store and working my way through my mom's cookbook. Tomorrow I'm going to attempt her lasagna."

"Oh I always loved your mom's lasagna," Pacey said softly.

For a moment they sat in silence, watching the pouring rain. Finally Joey sighed. "So I guess this isn't going to let up. I'm going to make a run for it. Did you want to spend the night in your car or my house?"

A large smile crossed Pacey's face. "I think I'll take the house. Shit it's really coming down. Okay on the count of three we run. One… two… three."

They both quickly opened their doors and ran through the pouring rain, navigating the long path to Joey's front door. She quickly unlocked it and they rushed through the door.

"Well the good news is, the soda is probably off of your jeans," Pacey offered as he scanned her wet body. The white t-shirt she was wearing was now clinging tightly to her body and Pacey found his glance lingering for far longer than appropriate.

Joey looked down, following his gaze. "Are you looking at my boobs?" she asked in shock, noticing in horror that not only was her shirt see-through but her nipples were noticeably hard.

Pacey rolled his eyes. "Get over yourself toots. You've got nothing I want to see."

Joey's mouth opened and for a moment she found herself speechless. She blinked at Pacey. "Right," she said tightly. "Well I'm just going to go change. Do you need something of Bodie's to sleep in?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice," he said softly, knowing he had just hurt her feelings, but not quite sure how to tell her that the truth was actually the opposite.

"You want to make us some drinks?"Joey asked, glancing outside as the sound of the thunder shook the house.

Pacey looked at her strangely. "And by drinks you mean?"

She let out a small laugh. "I think you know what I mean. If they are going to treat me like an adult, I get to act like an adult. I'm freezing, I'm going to change."

She tossed him a sad smile and then disappeared into her bedroom.

Pacey wandered into the kitchen, the look on Joey's face playing over and over in his head. He shivered as he opened her fridge and found a large container of orange juice. He walked over to the counter and grabbed two glasses down from her cupboard. He poured a little vodka in the first glass, and half a cup in the second glass. Just as he was pouring the orange juice in, a loud clap of thunder echoed throughout the house and the power went out.

"Jo?" Pacey called.

"Are you in the kitchen? There should be a flashlight under the sink," Joey called to him from across the house.

Pacey felt his way through the kitchen, locating the sink and then the flashlight. He turned it on and made his way to Joey.

Joey was standing in the middle of her living room, a flashlight in hand, and lighting several scented candles.

He let out a chuckle. "It smells like we are in Bath and Body works!"

"Here's some clothes if you want to change," Joey handed him a pair of Bodie's sweatpants and a t-shirt and a thick plaid robe.

"Thanks," he said gratefully, his eyes scanning her body, now covered in her own thick robe. "Will you be okay while I'm gone?"

Joey rolled her eyes. "I'm not a kid anymore, I can be alone during a storm."

Pacey laughed. "Okay, got it, I"ll be right back."

Pacey went to the bathroom and pulled off his wet jeans and t-shirt, replacing them with a warm pair of sweatpants. He realized in horror that the sweatpants did little to hide the arousal he was still feeling at the sight of her wet shirt clinging to her. He took a deep breath and decided the best course of action was to take care of the problem, that way she would never notice.

Joey sat on the couch watching the candlelight flicker as she waited for Pacey. A crash of thunder shook the house again and she pulled her knees to her chest. How long did it take him to toss some sweats on? Was he pooping? Had he snuck out the window?

"Pacey?" she called out finally. "You fall in?"

She heard a chuckle from the bathroom. "I'll be right out."

He casually flung open the bathroom door. "I'll grab the drinks and be right in."

He realized with embarrassment his bathroom trip had taken far longer than appropriate and that she probably thought he was taking a dump. He was unsure if that would be better or worse than what he was actually doing.

He walked into the living room and held a glass out to Joey. She smirked and took the glass out of his other hand. "I will take the not weak one, thanks."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't know what you're talking about. But perhaps I'll grab the bottle and top mine off."

He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with the bottle of vodka.

So… what do you want to do?

"Truth or dare?" Pacey suggested playfully.

Joey rolled her eyes. "Pretty sure that will get old fast with just the two of us."

"So how about truth or strip?"

"Is this a real game?" Joey asked rolling her eyes again.

"Yes. It's simple, I ask you a truth, if you don't want to answer, you take off an article of clothing. Don't worry, I'm guessing we know everything about each other there is to know anyway.."

Joey shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. Let's play. I've got nothing you want to see anyway, right?"


	2. Chapter 2

Okay big thanks to rebeldivaluv for betaing this for me. I'm kinda having fun with this one! Leave me some love if you want me to post more!

Pacey sighed as he watched Joey casually lean forward and grab her drink.

"Hey Jo, did I hurt your feelings earlier?" he asked hesitantly. She met his eyes, opened her mouth slightly and then closed it. She reached down and dramatically pulled off one of her socks.

"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked as she tossed her sock on the floor.

Pacey gave her an apologetic smile and removed one of his socks. He met her eyes and softly whispered "I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulders and took another drink. "Next?"

"Hmmm…okay. We are seriously playing this? Fine…have you ever had an orgasm?" he asked, his face suddenly impish.

"Pacey!" Joey exclaimed as she grabbed her other sock and tossed it on the floor, her face turning bright red.

"I don't think I need to ask you that question back. Although…there is something I've been dying to know. Is it true? Did you actually sleep with Ms. Jacobs?"

Pacey coughed as he swallowed his drink wrong. And then he removed his other sock.

"You're really not going to answer that one?" Joey asked in a small voice.

Pacey shrugged his shoulders. "I guess not."

"Somehow I thought we'd have less trouble telling the truth to each other," Joey said softly.

"Okay how 'bout this one. What'd you get on our math test you wouldn't show me last week?"

Joey winced. "I got a seventy."

Pacey's mouth dropped. "You what?"

"Yeah why… what'd you get?"

"A sixtyfive," he sighed.

"Pacey, we studied for that test all week…. What happened?"

"What always happens. My dad...alcohol…screaming…me sleeping in my car. But this is what we expect from me." Pacey shrugged. "But what happened with you?"

Joey tucked her hair behind her ears. "It's possible sometimes I am a kid. We had a huge thunderstorm that night and I couldn't sleep all night."

"Oh that's right," Pacey said. "I remember you looked weird that day. I thought it was cuz Dawson and Jen were all over each other in class."

Joey rolled her eyes. "So, you want to tell me who you like?"

"Who I like?" Pacey repeated slowly.

"Yes. Like who do you want to go out with?" she said rolling her eyes.

"I've been thinking about asking that new girl Andie out," Pacey said reluctantly.

"Oh…really?" Joey asked in surprise.

"Yes…what why? You think I'm too much of a screw up to date her? You think that because she's smart and beautiful she can do better than me?" Pacey asked harshly.

"Woah Pacey, calm down," Joey said gently, surprised at his anger. "I just thought you said she was annoying. I don't think any of those other things!"

"Oh…okay sorry. Perhaps I was a tad over sensitive? I'm going to make myself another drink, you want one?"

Joey eyed her drink and quickly chugged the remainder, handing her glass to Pacey once she finished. He took her glass from her hand and tucked it in the nook of his arm. He picked up the flashlight and turned it on. "Don't go anywhere," he teased as he winked at her.

She sat in the darkness staring at her naked feet. She mentally took stock of the rest of her outfit: a robe, a shirt, her bra, her pajama shorts and her underwear. Only one more question and then she'd have to start telling him the truth.

Pacey entered the room and scanned her body with the flashlight. "Just making sure you didn't add any extra clothing."

"Oh shut up and give me my drink," Joey said reaching out her hand.

"Yes ma'am," Pacey said placing her glass in her hand. He sat down next to her on the couch.

"So… an easy one. Who do you like?"

She took a deep breath and slowly removed her robe and placed it next to her. "Or… not so easy."

Pacey rolled his eyes. "Right. Because this is a secret. Got it. I can't believe you wasted your robe on this one."

Joey shrugged her shoulders and took another drink. "Okay so…you want to tell me what you did that got you in-house suspension all week?"

"Nope…I don't," Pacey said tightly. He removed his shirt, dramatically placing it on top of her robe. Him sitting shirtless next to her seemed strangely intimate. She allowed her eyes to quickly scan his body, noting how strong his chest looked, before she turned her attention back to her drink.

"So...maybe I'll put some wood on the fire? If we're getting naked it really should be warmer in here," he suggested; noting her stiff, awkward posture.

"I don't want to know anything about your wood," Joey teased, relaxing as Pacey got up and walked over to the fireplace.

Joey watched Pacey's silhouette in front of the fire, his muscles flexing in the candlelight. "Just use the fire starter log," Joey laughed as Pacey started building a sophisticated wood teepee. She slowly sipped her drink while he lit the Firestarter and piled a couple logs in a less intricate teepee.

"Wow you're quite the pro," she said watching as the fire grew.

"I've had lots of practice camping lately," Pacey mumbled as he made his way back to the couch.

"How often are you not sleeping at home?" she asked as he reached to the table and grabbed his drink.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Sounds like about as often as you're on your own here? What's going on with this?"

Joey took a deep breath. "I never knew having a baby was so hard. I tried to help out when I could but I think it was just too much for them. They've been with Bodie's family in Ayer. His mom takes care of Alex there. Bessie drops in to check in on things here and at the Ice House, but she's only slept here a couple times. She hasn't once talked about when we will open for the season, she's not interviewing staff like she normally is at this time of year. She keeps asking if I'm okay being on my own for a couple of days, and I keep saying yes. I'm scared if I tell her I'm not okay, she's going to tell me she wants to move."

"You can't move," Pacey said quickly, his gaze meeting hers longer than he meant to.

"It's pretty ridiculous that you were here almost every night last week, and you left to go sleep at Dawson's or in your car and I was here alone." She held his eyes as she spoke.

"Are you saying you wish I'd spent the night, Potter? Is it possible I've actually grown on you?" he asked, hitting her arm with his elbow.

"Like a fungus, Pace…like a fungus." She scowled at him.

"Well, I am a fun guy," he said with mock seriousness.

Joey rolled her eyes. "Wow. Okay suddenly going back to your ridiculous game is appealing."

"Hmm okay. Have you ever masturbated?" Pacey fired off.

"So, um…back to mushrooms…" Joey said as she slowly removed her shirt. She could feel Pacey's eyes on her as she tossed it on the floor.

"What?" she asked crossly.

He shook his head. "You know we don't have to play this, right? I mean, if you're uncomfortable, we can stop."

Joey let out a small laugh. "You realize my bikini probably shows more skin than my bra. I'm not uncomfortable. And obviously you're fine because I've got nothing you want to see."

"Right," he said slowly, grabbing a pillow and putting it in his lap.

"So," Joey said, turning to face him, pushing her breasts together slightly as she did so. "When was the last time you jerked off?"

"Fuck," Pacey muttered. He stood up and turned his back to her and slowly removed his sweatpants; grateful he had opted to leave his boxers on under them. Only at the moment he was really wishing he had worn something that would maybe hide his situation a bit better from Joey. He quickly sat down and returned the pillow to his lap.

"When was the last time you masturbated?" he asked, knowing full well she wouldn't answer.

She took a long drink before she finally turned to him. "Wait… didn't you say you can't ask the same question twice?"

Pacey laughed. "I was hoping you drank enough you forgot."

"Nope. So what were you doing in the bathroom so long earlier?" Joey ventured.

"You can't ask the same question twice Jo," Pacey reminded her, mocking her tone.

"I didn't…I asked you if you...Ewww, gross, Pacey. What is wrong with you?" Joey groaned in disgust.

"So I guess we can consider that question answered. And I think that's enough on that topic. So want to tell me what got you so upset after the movie?" Pacey asked carefully.

Joey took a deep breath. She reached around to unhook her bra, but paused and then slowly returned her hands to her lap. "It's not what you think…"

"And what do I think?" Pacey asked, fiddling with the pillow in his lap.

"You think I'm upset because I have feelings for Dawson and that seeing him and Jen back together is making me jealous," she said flatly.

He tossed her a knowing smile. "Uh huh… are you getting to the part where I'm wrong?"

"It's not like that. I don't feel that way about him. Maybe I did, but not anymore. It's just… the list of people who care about me is very short. I mean…it's very possible that Dawson is the only person left on that list. It's not about him dumping his soda on me and being too busy making out with Jen to not care. It's that he just doesn't care. And if he doesn't care..." her voice trailed off as she met Pacey's surprised eyes.

"Okay, first of all, let's be clear. Dawson does care about you. His penis may have him a bit distracted, but if you needed him he would be there for you in a second. And he's not the only person who cares about you. The Leerys care about you. Bessie and Bodie care about you. I'm sure they are struggling with you being here alone, but know that you would want to stay here. And there are other people who could care about you, if you'd let them in. And Jo…I hope you know…I care about you?" He held her eyes as he reached forward and touched her leg gently. They both looked down at his hand on her leg and he instantly moved it away.

"You?" she scoffed.

"Do… do you really think I don't care about you?"" he asked, his eyes hurt and concerned.

Joey swallowed, not expecting the emotion.

"Sometimes I think you do," she said slowly.

"So those times I drove you to see your dad? The times I've driven by here just to see if you needed a ride? All the time we've spent together? Especially the past month. You really think I don't care about you?" his voice cracked as he spoke and Joey realized just how much her comment had hurt him.

She shrugged his shoulders. "Yes there's all of that. There's also every time you've made a horrible comment about me, my body, cruelly teased me about liking Dawson. Do you have any idea how hurtful all those comments are to me?"

"Wait, what?" Pacey asked in surprise.

"The year I got my first bikini, I showed up to the beach, and you made some horrible comment about how bikinis were made for girls with boobs. And then that same day you told me I had no ass. And from that day on… every time I thought we were friends, suddenly you'd say something awful to me."

Pacey cringing as he listened to her description of events.

"There was one time last year we were wrestling for the remote, and I had you pinned. And you threw me off of you, like I was a piece of trash, and didn't speak to me for a week. Is this how someone who cares about me acts?"

Pacey put his hands to his head. "I don't know if the answer makes things better or worse."

"How can it make things worse?" Joey asked, spreading her hands in confusion.

"Raging hard on," he mumbled, keeping his head in his hands.

"What?" she asked, sure she had misunderstood him.

He put his hands down and faced her. "That day you showed up in your bikini, you looked amazing, and I had an instant hard on. I just… said something nasty and walked away so you wouldn't know."

"Pacey!" Joey shrieked, a blush rising to her face.

"That time we were wrestling? I thought you had felt it, and I avoided you for a week because I was embarrassed. I never realized how nasty it must have seemed from your point of view; it was just me being embarrassed because of my body's reaction to you. I have always cared about you," he offered intensely. His eyes seeking out hers, looking for her reaction. He was anticipating a right hook.

"Are you mad? Do you want me to leave?" he asked, moving uncomfortably in his seat.

"The answer made things better actually." she blushed. "But what's your excuse for more recently? Telling me I didn't have an ass when we filmed Dawson's movie. Rather nastily telling me my boobs weren't worth looking at tonight?"

"Raging hard on?" he offered, laughing a bit self-consciously.

"Me? I gave you a hard on… tonight?" she asked doubtfully.

"You. You're giving me a hard on…right now," he sighed. He looked at her timidly.

"You're fucking with me, right?" she asked.

"Oh no…come sit in my lap, and you'll find that I am in no way fucking with you," he laughed.

She stood up and walked to the front of where he was sitting on the couch and looked him in the eye. "Prove it."


	3. Chapter 3

Okay finally ready with an update! Feedback if you want more :)

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He laughed again, "And what exactly would you like me to do, Potter? Whip it out for you? I somehow don't see this story ending in a way that doesn't get me smacked."

"You said sit in your lap?" she offered quietly. "Or you could admit that you're fucking with me and there's nothing remotely attractive about me."

Pacey closed his eyes for a moment before tossing the pillow to the side and reaching out for her hand and gently pulling her towards him. He was surprised to find that she willingly allowed him to pull her onto him, placing her knees on either side of him as she settled in his lap.

"I don't feel anything," she said with audible disappointment.

He reached his hands to her hips. "Slide forward," he said, his voice husky. She slowly slid her pelvis a bit more forward, her eyes opening in surprise.

"Oh," she said, as she felt him hard against her. "This is really because of me?"

"I can't help but feel like this is a trap and you are going to sock me at any point. But since we're being honest tonight, yes, this is because of you. You are a freaking goddess, and you are sitting in my lap in next to nothing. And obviously I lied earlier, yes I was looking at your boobs…it took all my willpower to stop looking. That's why I jerked off in your bathroom, so you wouldn't know how much it had affected me." He slowly rubbed the sides of her leg. "I"m sorry I never thought about how what I was saying made you feel. I knew I'd hurt your feelings tonight… I just didn't know how to make it right."

She nodded her head. "For the record, I'm pretty sure most girls would rather hear that they are attractive than be made to feel like they are disgusting."

He smiled, his hands still on her legs. "Got it. Now um… unless you enjoy slowly torturing me, I suggest you return to your seat."

She slowly relaxed her body into him. "But you know I enjoy torturing you."

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, his voice strangled.

She pressed her pelvis against him. "I'm not sure," she said softly, biting her lip.

"I suggest you get off, unless you want me to do something we are both going to regret," he said tightly, his eyes inscrutable.

She met his eyes defiantly. "Like what?"

"Aw hell," he muttered. "Something like this." He placed his hand behind her head and pulled her towards him, hungrily kissing her. Fully anticipating the slap he tried to reel himself back only to find that she was definitely kissing him back with the same vigor.

He put his hands solidly on her shoulders and pulled away. "Are you drunk?"

She let out a small laugh. "If you are asking if my judgement is compromised, it's a distinct possibility, since all I want to do is keep kissing you. But no, I'm not drunk, Pacey. Maybe just a little braver than usual. Is this not good? Do… do you want me to get off?" She bit her lip as a moment of doubt crossed her face.

Pacey grinned. "Potter, I would love nothing more than to get you off right now." He paused making sure she caught his double entendre; when he saw her roll her eyes he continued. "This is beyond good. I just need to make sure you won't hate me in the morning. I want to make sure you know what you're doing. And that you know you're doing it with me."

She leaned forward and kissed him, the alcohol fueling her forwardness. She placed her hands on his shoulders, slowly allowing herself to caress his arms. She found her pelvis moving against him as if it had a mind of its own. "I know exactly what I'm doing," she mumbled.

"Joey," Pacey said, pulling away again, his voice thick. "What's going on here?"

She slowly reached around to the back of the bra, unhooking it and sliding it off. "I'm not ready to answer that question yet."

Pacey blew out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he stared up at the ceiling. "Holy hell, woman, are you trying to kill me? I need rules. Quickly."

"Rules?" she asked in confusion.

"Potter, you are sitting in practically nothing on me. Can I look? Can I touch? Are you going to slap me any minute and call me a pervert? I don't know what's going on here."

She bit her lip nervously. "Your rules are nothing else comes off."

"I'm going to look," Pacey whispered. He swallowed loudly as he allowed his eyes to slowly scan her naked torso. "You are beautiful. Utterly beautiful."

Just the feeling of Pacey's eyes on her breasts caused her entire body to tingle. She didn't know just a look could feel so intimate. So hot. She tucked away her doubt that there was no way he really meant that and leaned forward and kissed him.

Pacey hesitantly raised his hand to gently cup her breast. He waited for her to shove his hand away, but instead she let out a small moan. Her eyes opened in surprise, embarrassed about her moan.

He smiled reassuringly at her. "You can trust me," he said softly. She nodded and returned her mouth to his, another soft moan emitting from her mouth as he returned his hand to her breast. Pacey took his other hand and moved it to her butt, encouraging her gentle rocking against him. She followed his guidance, her pelvis rhythmically rocking against his. Pacey moved his lips from her mouth, to her neck, slowly trailing his way down to her breasts. She let out a loud gasp as he took her nipple in his mouth, gently sucking. Sensing she was close to an orgasm, he continued encouraging her hips rocking against his until she let out a loud moan and shuttered against him. Pacey heard himself grunt as he came against her.

Her hips slowly stilled and she pressed her forehead against his. For a moment neither of them moved.

"Hey Potter," he said breaking the silence. "You ever had an orgasm?"

She let out a relieved laugh as she climbed off of him. "Pretty sure you now have the answer to that… you?"

Pacey cleared his throat. "It's a distinct possibility. I"m just going to go to the bathroom and clean up."

"Right," Joey said shyly, suddenly feeling very awkward around him. Pacey stood up and grabbed his sweatpants and disappeared into the bathroom. Leaving Joey sitting alone, with her thoughts. Lots and lots of thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry the writing is so slow. Love any and all feedback and it definitely motivates me to get writing some more.

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When he returned, Joey was dressed and wearing her robe like a blanket. She looked upset, and immediately his heart sank. "You ok?"

"It's true, isn't it?" she asked softly.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"You had sex with Ms Jacobs, didn't you?" she asked, anxiously tucking her hair behind her ears with both hands.

Pacey walked by Joey and sat on the other end of the couch with a sigh. "This is what you're out here thinking about? I'm in there thinking, damn that was amazing, and you're out here thinking damn I wonder if he had sex with his teacher?" a hint of anger creeping into his voice.

"It's just… you kiss like you've had sex," Joey said quietly.

"I kiss like I've had sex?" Pacey asked doubtfully. "What does that even mean? When did you become an expert on kissing. Wait… have you even kissed anyone?"

Joey rolled her eyes as she fidgeted with the robe in her lap. "Yes I've kissed people."

"I don't mean that time you were drunk at a party, or that tourist you kissed for like five seconds. I mean like a proper make out session."

Joey closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "Yes… I've kissed Dawson."

"Um…. truth or dare isn't what I meant either." Pacey said turning to face her.

"It isn't what I meant either," Joey said, turning her gaze to the fire.

"Wait… you and Dawson made out? What? When?"

"I feel like this conversation suddenly got a lot more awkward in light of what just happened between you and I. But we made out… maybe like a month ago. I'm assuming he didn't tell you?" she asked, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"No, he most definitely did not tell me. Jesus Jo… I would never have… I think you need to tell me the whole story here."

"So…. we were at the inevitable cliffhanger. Will Joey go to France? And we did this whole will they, will they not… and then finally he kissed me. And it was a nice kiss. And then we fought, in typical Dawson and Joey fashion about if we should have kissed or not. And then we started kissing, on his bed. Only it was… it was too much, too sloppy… I don't know. And then he put his hand up my shirt, so I moved it back, and then he did it again, and again, and again. Finally I stopped kissing him and told him I didn't feel ready to do that and he got mad, like really mad."

"He what?" Pacey interrupted.

"He said he couldn't believe I'd chased him around for months and then wasn't prepared to have with sex with him. And I told him I most definitely was not going to have sex with him that quickly. And then I left. He got back together with Jen and had sex with her like two days later," she said softly, as if she was trying not to cry.

"Hey Jo," Pacey said, sliding closer to her. "That's not right."

"But the thing is Pacey, kissing him didn't make me feel like I wanted to have sex with him. It felt messy and weird. However kissing you… it was all I could think about. Like part of me wanted to tear the rest of my clothes off. It's very obvious you know what you're doing."

Pacey took a deep breath. "Yes I had sex with her."

"How many times?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe ten?"

"Oh," Joey said quietly.

"But Jo… that wasn't right either. I was very caught up in the fantasy aspect of it. But the reality is that she made me feel like shit about myself. It made me feel awful. I never once felt like I knew what I was doing. And I wish…I wish my first time had been more...normal. I wish it had been with someone like you."

She tossed him a sad soft smile. "But it wasn't. Do you think, now that you've had sex, you could ever be satisfied with someone who wasn't comfortable going all the way with you? Someone like me?"

Pacey reached out and touched her leg gently. "Jo, they way Dawson made you feel was wrong. I'd trade all the sex with Tamara for what we did tonight. Whatever you felt comfortable with, that would be enough."

Joey smiled, a relieved look on her face. "Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me."

"I kinda thought you already knew?"

Joey shrugged her shoulders. "I guess that was before we got so close. And now that we are, it seems hard to believe you'd do that."

"Maybe that's cuz the guy you're close with… he wouldn't." Pacey said firmly. "That guy knows it's not all about the sex, it's about… finding someone like you."

Joey smiled at him. "Don't tell Dawson I told you about what happened. I don't want him to think I'm hanging on to something I'm not."

Pacey carefully studied her eyes, trying to see if she was telling the truth or if she was still hanging on to something. Somehow he couldn't see the Dawson and Joey saga as being over… which meant he had just made an enormous mistake.

"Right. Of course. So should we maybe get some sleep?" he asked, faking a yawn. He couldn't ignore the slight turn of his stomach everytime she said Dawson's name. Somehow he hadn't thought about the repercussions of his actions. What would happen if Dawson found out? He had definitely broken the bro code. As Pacey studied Joey's eyes, he couldn't figure out why the hell she had stopped Dawson from feeling her up, but just dry humped him on her sofa. And somehow, any answer he could come up with, just made him feel worse.


End file.
